I have a secret...don't tell anyone...

I hate Chinese food.

Not that stuff you eat in America, if THAT was what real Chinese food was like, I'd be stuffing my face 3 meals a day. But Chinese food is nothing like what you're eating. It is weird and greasy and laced with MSG and so unsanitary. To put it in perspective, McDonalds in America is a place I'd never EVER eat...I'd rather be hungry. Here, however, I eat McDonalds as a luxurious treat. Protein, calories, ketchup. Mmm. Finding familiar ingredients has been hard. There's no cheese, or tomato products, the milk smells weird and bread isn't the same. Don't even get me talking about the meat. And I only have a hot plate to cook on anyway. Sigh. I've lost 10 pounds.

ENTER HONG KONG!

I leave tomorrow for the international food capitol of China. THERES EVEN A TACO LOCO! There's Greek food, Indian food, Mexican food, American food, European food. I am hoping to gain back a good 5 pounds or so on all the delicious non-Chinese restaurants. My train ticket only cost $22 USD one way, and it is about an 8-10 hour ride. We'll spend the first two nights in Macau, China's Las Vegas on an island, and then finish out the week in HK. I have 10 days of scrumptious freedom. I can't wait to show you all the photos. Over and out til next week...

*update* I just found out that Changsha has the Guinness certified "largest Chinese restaurant in the world." The Sundance Channel is airing a series about the restaurant. I wish I could watch it! Here's the preview.

Last weekend was Mid-Autumn festival here in China. Tradition has many different versions as to the origin of the festival, all of them having something to do with the moon and two people in love. So, every mid-autumn festival the population of China goes outside to look at the moon and eat mooncakes together. We don't have mooncakes in the states because they are made of lotus paste. Think of a fig newton times 10 with a cooked egg yolk inside. :)
For mid-autumn festival I went to Martyr's park with Tara for moon/people gazing and, of course, mooncakes. Here's is my description of the night from my journal:

In the sky there are beautiful lights so high they couldn't possibly be attached to the ground. The world has not invented string that long, we agree. But what could it be? We wonder. And wonder. Finally I see the same lights closer to the ground. It must be fairies! I say. Tara laughs. She's a historian. She follows the lights down to the ground where a Chinese man with the largest kite apparatus I have ever seen has a big smile on his face. He knows he's bringing wonder to thousands of people and he is proud. What a kite! We talk to him in limited Chinese and wish him a Happy Moon Festival. He gives Tara a lighter that lights up just like his kite. We move on to the lake. The pathways are lit by lampposts and the trees glow green with neon lighting. People are dancing. They love dancing here. Men and women, women and women, women all by themselves. They waltz to Chinese music. Children run and skip. I soak it in. As we get to the lake, a wish lantern is lit and floats into the sky. A little fireball drifting higher and higher. I wish I knew what their wish was, and I make a wish myself. We sit near the water and crack open the cakes. So many boats wander around aimlessly. The moon is full and peeks its face through the thin clouds. Hundreds of us watch. A girl sits quietly next to me and rips a page out of her notebook. She thoughtfully ponders her wish, and then finalizes it by folding it into an origami boat. She walks to the water and splashes her wish boat out to "sea." A little girl walks by with broccoli lights on her head. The toddler next to me blows bubbles. I breathe it all in. This country is a poem.

There is a no tolerance policy at my school for MP3/MP4/PSP/cell phone etc. If I see it, I take it. If it is the student’s first offense, I have them write me an apology letter in English and sign their name saying they will not have it in class again. They think I am very kind for allowing them this first offense and sometimes I think maybe I am being too nice. But, nevertheless, it makes for some awesome letters. This was my favorite one today:

Dear (English Teacher)
I am wrong.
I shouldn’t used it in your class. But please let me explain to you.
First,
I only want to use it to find an English word. Really.
Second,
I didn’t do others. There is no MP3 Player or games. If means that I didn’t listen to songs and play games.
Please believe me ~☺~ (THANKS…)
You are simily to my sister. Both you and she are so kindness.
I insist that you will forgive me, isn’t it?
By the way, I’m very glad to meet touch you.
That’s all.
Thank you.
Yours: Joy

Joy is a boy I named Joe. He was right, I confiscated his English dictionary, it wasn’t an MP3 player. He was soooo frightened to talk to me, you should have seen his smile when I told him his punishment was a letter. “REALLY? You don’t teach me a lesson? You are SO kind. I was such nervous!” (he was literally shaking) Its students like Joe/Joy that make my days…better. The cuteness just melts my heart. I had some other students today however that pushed every button I have. But it seems that no matter what happens, China gives me something cute to make it all better. After a horrible class today, I left school for a big glass of green tea and a fellow (female) teacher stopped me and said, “Can I say that you have a charming…um…figure? So beautiful!”
Oh, China.

Tomorrow I buy tickets to Hong Kong!

One of the most hilarious and enjoyable/frustrating and outraging things about living in China is the language barrier. Almost every day I have an experience that makes me laugh out loud, and another that makes me want to swear. The mis-translations across the city always make my day. From store fronts (The Pregnant Woman Lives the Hall) to hilarious translated shirts (Super Lover I Need You Tonight) if I keep my eyes open, I will always have a little grin on my face. Last week I had my class leaders put together a class list with student number, English name, Chinese name in Pinyin, Chinese name in characters, and if they're a boy or a girl. One class leader must have misunderstood "Chinese name in characters" and looked up character in a dictionary. Now I have a class list complete with personality descriptions! It was just so cute I couldn't tell her she'd done it wrong. I love how they've chosen to describe themselves. Anchorite?? I'm pretty sure that is a mistranslation. I'd be really surprised if I had a Christian hermit in my classroom.

As far as my Chinese goes, its getting better by the day. I can now have a basic conversation with a taxi driver or a lady on the bus (only if I ask them to PLEASE speak slower) and I can order food and get around the city no problem. I have mini triumphs every day in speaking Chinese and I feel like I'm progressing quickly. The key, I've discovered, is being willing to fail...miserably. Be willing to speak like a toddler, be willing to have no idea whats going on, be willing to ask questions, be willing to be a beginner, be willing to do things totally wrong. I set mini goals for myself every week. Last weekend I wished 15+ Chinese people a happy mid-autumn festival (zhang qiu jie kuaile!) and was able to tell the taxi driver where my apartment was without looking it up. Mini triumphs to say the least but at least I'm working towards something. My big goal is to be able to read a Chinese menu by the time Mike gets here. Wish me luck!

(PS More about Mid-autumn festival soon...it was incredible!)

Ok you students out there, you think you have it bad? Here is my Chinese students' daily schedule:

7:40-7:45 Prep time (they keep their classroom clean and manage chalkboards, etc)
7:45-8:25 1st period
8:35-9:15 2nd period
9:25-10:05 3rd period
10:05-10:25 Morning exercises
10:25-11:05 4th period
11:15-11:20 Eye exercises
11:20-12:00 5th period
12:00-12:40 Lunch
12:40-2:10 Study hall
2:10-2:30 Free time (the boys RUN to the basketball courts!)
2:30-2:40 Prepare classroom
2:40-3:20 6th period
3:30-3:35 Eye exercises
3:35-4:15 7th period
4:25-5:05 8th period
5:10-6:10 9th period if applicable or study hall

Normal students go home now or boarding students:
6:10-7:00 Dinner, free time
7:00-9:30 Study hall
9:30-10:00 Free time
10:00pm Lights out

The students don't leave the classroom. They stay in the same room all day and the teachers rotate classrooms to come to them. I taught them about American high school life today and they were greeeeen with envy at how much free time the American student has. Can you blame 'em?

There are many things in China that aren't like home. For example: chicken. When you order chicken you get chicken bone. You stick the chicken bone in your mouth and pick off what little meat may be on the bone. Then you spit the bone on to the table. You know that General Tsao's chicken you ordered at the Chinese restaurant? Or Kung Pao? Or Sweet and Sour? Ya, they don't have that here. And I have yet to see a fortune cookie for that matter.
That brings me to laundry. After a month of hand washing my clothes in the hotel sink, I jumped with joy and kissed the washing machine in my apartment. I immediately threw in a load. The school had recently done some remodeling and what once was a bathtub, is now just tile flooring. Which would be fine but they didn't really think it through too much, and there is no slope on my floor. Therefore, when I take a shower, the water just puddles in my bathroom because there is no slope for the water to find the drain. This presented a problem as my washing machine drains onto the bathroom floor. I flooded my bathroom a few times before I figured out a good system. Here is my laundry ritual:

1. Put clothes in, put on ECONOMY setting, and let it do its thing.
2. When machine makes that clicking noise run from wherever in the apartment and hold the hose into the bucket. Fill up bucket to almost full and let go of the tube to let rest of the water drain onto the floor. Hurry over to other side of bathroom and use cutting board to block water from puddling into places not reachable by mop.
3. While rinse cycle begins, carefully carry full bucket into kitchen for dumping. Inevitably slosh soapy water onto legs and feet and kitchen floor (which, ironically, has a drain).
4. Bring back bucket, wait for rinse cycle to drain. Repeat step 2 and 3 (the running, the filling, the emptying, the spilling).
5. After dumping second bucket, return to bathroom and rinse bucket out. Then put clean clothes into bucket and bring to bedroom. Hang all wet clothes on hangers.
6. Get long pole and place clothes on the outside balcony pole to dry.
7. Return to bathroom with bucket. Get mop and soak up the puddle which is the bathroom floor. Dump bucket in kitchen one more time.
8. Declare the laundry complete!

And the most amazing part: I can do all of that in less than one hour. :)

I officially completed my first week of teaching high school in China. All in all, it was a fantastic week. My classes got better and better (as my script and confidence improved) and I had sooo many cute and funny exchanges with my students. One such experience: I had them playing a game where two teams competed to answer funny questions about me. Usually students are mortified to come to the front, but one student eagerly came up, answered my question and then said:
"Wait, now I have a question for YOU."
Me: Ok, what question? (shocked and curious)
Student: Do you know who is Sexy Boy?
M: Umm...no....who...?
S: WHAT? You do not KNOW?
M:....
S: I am SEXY BOY!

And the class erupts into hysterics. I tell Sexy Boy its nice to meet him and he triumphantly takes his seat. Its going to be a fun year. :)

Also, If you'd like to see some more photos of my trip to Fenghuang/Dehang click here.

*update* my bug bite has almost disappeared! Thank you mysterious black goo!

Today was Day 2 of my 4 day workweek. Yesterday eased me into teaching with only 2 classes. Two well-behaved wonderful classes. Today was a different story. First period was disastrous, teenagers sleeping, texting, listening to music, completely ignoring me, chasing each other screaming, throwing stuff at each other. I survived, barely, and had a lunch break to recooperate. Next period, the best I've had yet. The CUTEST of students who were wildy enthusiastic I was sharing the same air with them, focusing on every word. It was easy to be a teacher for those kids. Next period was a combo of the two, naughty but not bad. Tomorrow: four more classes. Each class has at least 60 students. It is still kind of surreal being "Teacher Maria." I always fantasized about being a teacher, but never in my wildest dreams was it anything like this!

I am playing "get to know you" games in my classes for our first day and one of my games has each of them write down a question, any question for me. They are usually predictable "what do you think of china?" "what is your favorite color?" "do you have a boyfriend?" but every once in a while a really great one is thrown into the mix. Here are a few of my favorites so far: (these are 14 year old students)

"Maria, is your hair born to be blond?"
"Do you love Allen Iverson?"
"Is you love a boy but the boy not be with you what will you do?"
"Do you think your boyfriend are best handsome in world?"
"Do you want to get married with Zac? Or you want to get married with Ne-Yo?"
"Do you like NBA star T-Mac?"
"Do you use perfume? Lancome, Chanel, or Dior?
"What do you think of Making Love?"
"Do you like make-up? You look so beautiful. Your lashes so long! Do you use mascara?"
"Do you want marry me?" Heart, Tom (unfortunately there are 3 Tom's in that class)

Aren't they adorable?

The above photo is the students in my school lined up for their "morning exercises" which is 10 minutes of choreographed DDR type dancing. It is amazing to see them all line up so efficiently. Their body moves independently of their attitudes, rolling their eyes and not wanting to be there. Even funnier to watch is their "eye exercises" which they do for 5 minutes 2 or maybe 3 times a day. A voice comes over the loud speaker with music and counting and they close their eyes and massage different parts of their face to the music. Oh, China.